Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I Don't Understand My Secretary's Logic Sometimes

I’m pretty self sufficient at work. My secretary faxes and mails things for me, makes my travel arrangements, arranges court reporters, and does filings for me, but generally I don’t ask much out of her. So, when I do ask her to do something, I expect it to be done correctly.

On Monday morning, I asked her to hop on the Internet and make me a walking directions map from my hotel to my deposition location.  Since I'm unfamiliar with the city the deposition was in, I just wanted a close up map that showed some of the street names and so I knew whether to turn right or left out of the hotel to get there.  No big deal.  I specifically said the following: “I need to make sure where I’m going tomorrow morning.” Thought it was all pretty clear.

She handed me the map and directions and I put it in my file without really looking at it. I mean, it was such as basic thing to do that it didn't really occur to me to double check it.  This was the wrong decision.  When I woke up on Tuesday morning, I looked at the map and something was wrong. She had mapped me directions from the deposition location to my hotel. The exact opposite of what I asked her to do, and something that frankly makes no sense. If I’ve managed to get to the deposition location, I can probably figure out how to get back to my hotel.

Obviously this wasn’t the end of the world. I’m fully capable of reversing the directions, and that’s exactly what I did. But I was still baffled, because she’s done this type of bizarre mapping before. Back in the days before I had a Garmin GPS device, I used to have her print me directions from airports to hotels and things like that. One time, since I was flying in the evening and landing at around 9 p.m., I didn’t specify which directions and maps I needed. I mean, anyone with any logic can determine my usual path when I am traveling out of town for deposition.  Airport, hotel, deposition, airport for one day depos; airport, hotel, deposition, hotel, deposition, airport for two day depos.  In this particular instance, I also failed to check the directions before I got on the plane. When I landed, I saw that she had given me directions from the airport to the deposition location. Really? Did she think I was going to take a deposition at 9 p.m.? Why would I ever be going straight from the airport to the deposition location at 9 p.m.?  Again, bizarre. So now I try to make it abundantly clear which directions I need, since obviously she is incapable of any type of logical thought. And even when I do that, it still doesn't work because on Monday within five minutes she either forgot what I asked, or confused the hotel address with the deposition address.  Either way, it’s really fucking annoying.

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