Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Fantasy Football Thanksgiving Weekend: Need Huge Result

Here's the situation.

We have three divisions.  Top team in each division makes the playoffs, and there is one wild card.  Wild card is next best ranking among the divisions.  The next three games are all division games.

My division goes like this.  We and one other team are 7-4, and the next best team is 6-5.  Only one game back.  The last place team is 3-8.  Not good, but they are a spoiler type of team.  They beat us the first time we played.  We beat the other two teams.  Thus, there is a huge race in my division to make the playoffs.  So, we are playing the 6-5 team this week, and the other 7-4 team is playing the 3-8 team.  We need to win this.  We can, if at least half of our players show up.  You can really never depend on that in fantasy.

However, since my team has done well so far this season, I would like to throw out a thanks and a keep it up to some of my starters this week, and's what I think: 

1.  Philip Rivers.  I heart you.  You, for some reason, are not put among the Mannings, Brees, and Bradys.  You should be.  You toss out four touchdowns a game, throw for four hundred yards, and make it happen on a regular basis.  I am so happy I drafted you.  You are totally underrated, give me massive points every week, and you rock.  I don't care if you are unpleasant in person, you play the game.

2.   Marques Colsten:  You started out slow, but you hit it!  Glad I kept you around. 

3.  Adrian Peterson:  All right, you've been stopped lately and there are all kinds of coaching issues going on there, but I have not given up on you.  Any week you can rush for 100 yards.  I'm willing to overlook the past two games, just give me something this week, please?

4.  Santonio Homes:  This is why I drafted you, even though you were suspended at the beginning of the season.  It took you a couple of games, but you found your groove.  We love you!  Keep it up, baby!

5.  Chad Ochocinco:  You have been a total fucking bust.  Maybe you should spend more time on football and less time proposing to women and worrying about your pigeons.  Oh, and how did that pick up of Terrell Owens affect you?  Big.  Every week I have to consider whether to bench you, but when Mike Sims Walker is my other WR, it's a hard choice.  You both blow.  I'm only starting you this week because Sims Walker is injured and there are no decent WR on the waiver. 

6.  Ahmad Bradshaw:  I still love you even though you aren't starting this week due to your fumbles.  You have performed week after week for me, and I'm willing to cut you some slack.  I think you will still get me some points this week.  Also, because Joseph Addai likely is still out this week and he's my only other running back to choose from.

7.  Zach Miller:  (OAK)  All right, you had your off week last week.  Let's see another touchdown.  When my only other option is Carlson, you can't do much worse than zero.  You were good initially this season, let's see it again.

8.  Olindo Mare:  I chose you to start over my usual starter Mason Crosby because your name rocks.  Also because you have been kicking a lot of field goals lately.  I need a team that is good enough to get in field goal range, but not good enough to get a touchdown.  Green Bay, no.  Seattle, yes.  Also, I like saying your name.

9.  Oakland, DST:  Well, my other option is the Lions vs. the Patriots, so don't think you are anything special this week.  Just please, give me a couple of sacks or maybe an interception?

Can this crew pull it off for me?  We shall see. 

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