1. I am now double the age required to buy cigarettes. When I got carded the other night at 7-11, I pointed this out to the clerk.
2. I can no longer walk as far as I used to in high heels, so most of my morning shoe decisions are based on how much standing and walking I have to do that day.
3. No one pays any attention to when I come in and leave work as long as I get my work done.
4. My sister never thanked me for the huge box of new baby clothes I sent her last month for my new niece who is due in December. (I mean, would it have been that hard to send me a text?)
5. If I find myself at a bar at midnight on a weeknight, I am now that sad and pathetic mid thirties woman I used to pity when I was in my twenties. Thankfully this doesn’t happen very often, and when it does, I’m usually with a group of equally pathetic men in the late thirties and early forties.
6. I have zero interest in traditional female things, like baby showers, bridal showers, entertaining, cooking, and to a slightly lesser extent, children. Some kids I like, and sometimes I think I want one of my own, but generally I don’t care to hear people’s stories about whatever cute thing their kid did that day. I also don’t like to discuss the best recipe for chocolate chip cookies, and I can’t stand sitting around for three hours watching someone open presents. I would frankly rather be hanging out with the men during parties and things, because their conversations are usually much more interesting.
7. I don’t care when a celebrity “unveils her baby bump.”
8. I’ve started blabbing my life story to cashiers like my mom does.
9. I think I’m kind of turning into a snob. I’ll do a post on this one later.
10. The lyrics to Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” are not “….blood on the dance floor.” They are “I left my heart and my head on the dance floor.”
11. My secretary was on vacation for all of last week and part of this week...and I didn't even notice she was gone.