Monday, February 14, 2011

When You Bypass a Date Without Even Realizing It

I'm kind of amazed, because I never thought this day would come, so I'm going to post about it. 

My dad passed away on February 13, 1993.  Not a February 13 has gone since by that I haven't been depressed on that day and thought about him and all of the baggage that goes along with losing a parent.  Usually tears are shed and all that.  This has also pretty much ruined Valentine's Day for me, not that I didn't already hate it before.  (I mean, seriously?  One day a year to show your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse that you love them?  How dumb.  I much prefer the random flowers at work to the Valentine's Day flowers.)  But anyway, that all changed this year.

Yesterday I didn't even connect the day at all with my dad's death.  This morning when I got to work I realized that it was February 14.  I made it through February 13 without thinking about my dad at all.  Now, logically I know this was because I just got back from the trial and had other things on my mind and frankly, I really didn't even realize what the date was, since I had kind of lost track of it all with being out of town for so long, and who pays attention to the date on a weekend?  But still, it was actually kind of a nice feeling, for once.  I made it through the day.  This doesn't mean that next year will be any easier -- every year is hard -- but I have to admit that it was kind of a nice feeling.  I hope that doesn't sound callous, because I don't mean it to be.   

Of course now I'm thinking about it, since I know what the date is, and what it represents.  But somehow making it through the 2 o'clock hour on February 13 is kind of a nice feeling for me these days.

1 comment:

  1. He wouldn't want you to have your day ruined. It's okay to take a break from the grief. Hope you had a nice Valentine's Day! We stayed in, I cooked dinner, watched a horror movie (The Last Exorcism wasn't half bad - crap ending) and I stepped in cat puke before I went to bed. All in all a decent day! :)