I'm kind of amazed, because I never thought this day would come, so I'm going to post about it.
My dad passed away on February 13, 1993. Not a February 13 has gone since by that I haven't been depressed on that day and thought about him and all of the baggage that goes along with losing a parent. Usually tears are shed and all that. This has also pretty much ruined Valentine's Day for me, not that I didn't already hate it before. (I mean, seriously? One day a year to show your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse that you love them? How dumb. I much prefer the random flowers at work to the Valentine's Day flowers.) But anyway, that all changed this year.
Yesterday I didn't even connect the day at all with my dad's death. This morning when I got to work I realized that it was February 14. I made it through February 13 without thinking about my dad at all. Now, logically I know this was because I just got back from the trial and had other things on my mind and frankly, I really didn't even realize what the date was, since I had kind of lost track of it all with being out of town for so long, and who pays attention to the date on a weekend? But still, it was actually kind of a nice feeling, for once. I made it through the day. This doesn't mean that next year will be any easier -- every year is hard -- but I have to admit that it was kind of a nice feeling. I hope that doesn't sound callous, because I don't mean it to be.
Of course now I'm thinking about it, since I know what the date is, and what it represents. But somehow making it through the 2 o'clock hour on February 13 is kind of a nice feeling for me these days.