Thursday, March 24, 2011

How I Met Your Mother -- The Gaps

I really like How I Met Your Mother, because the writers often come up with clever storylines that remind me of the stupid crap I talk about with my friends.  ("Drunk or Kid" is one of my favorite storylines.  You tell a story about something stupid you did, and your friends have to guess whether you were a kid or drunk when it happened.  Hilarious.)

Anyway, in this week's episode, the characters discussed each other's "gaps" in knowledge or ability.  For example, Ted had been pronouncing "chameleon" wrong for years.  Robin didn't know that the North Pole really existed.  These are stupid things that you should know, but you don't.

This led me to think about my own gaps.  You can only identify a gap once it has been pointed out to you.  I know there are more of these in my past, but I can't remember them now.  Here are the ones I remember:

1.  I cannot pronounce the word "peculiar."  I can say it in my head, but when I try to say it out loud, I cannot do it.  My tongue gets all tied up.  For obvious reasons, I avoid using this word.  I used to love the Peculiar Pub in New York City, but I could never recommend to any of my friends to go there and check it out because I couldn't pronounce the damn name.    

2.  Whenever I see the word "gauge" (which happens more often than you might think in my line of work), I pronounce it "gawge."   I did this in a deposition once, and felt like a complete ass.  It's pronounced "gayge."  I know this, but something in my brain will not allow me to pronounce it correctly.

3.  I didn't know people washed their sheets until I went away to college.  This sounds absurd, I know, but my mom never, ever washed our sheets when I was growing up.  (Hell, she still doesn't.)  We changed them occasionally (rarely), when we got new ones, or needed a change in color, but this was few and far between, and I had no idea people actually washed their sheets every week or month.  My mind was blown to find this out.  My friends in college thought it was hilarious.

4.  Whenever I used to see "nude" colored bras, I always wondered why anyone would buy a bra that is such an ugly color.  White, black, the colors of the rainbow, sure.  But nude?  Why?  Then when I was around 29 one of my friends explained to me that nude bras are great to wear under white and light colored shirts because then you can't see the bra through the shirt.  This was also mind blowing to me.  I had avoided wearing white shirts for years because I hated the look of a white bra showing through it.  I have no idea why I didn't know this, or why I never figured it out before.

I'm positive I have more of these, but I just haven't been able to think of any others.     


  1. About the sheets... that is pretty hilarious!
    I thought "chic" was "chick" not "sheek" for the longest time.

    I did the same thing with nude bras!

    I commit the same cooking disasters all the time, even when I know how to do a technique right, I keep sabotaging my food.

  2. When I see the word "union" I pronounce it in my head like "onion."

  3. @L.R. -- thank God I'm not the only one who didn't realize the nude bra thing!

    @FAE -- it's so weird how that happens, isn't it? You know it's wrong, but you just can't stop. Like my gauge/gage thing.

  4. I used to have a friend who couldn't pronounce "nuclear". He had a habit of saying it the way our infamous former president used to say it--"newcular." I corrected him a few times and even breaking it out into "new" and "clear" could coax the right pronunciation, he'd still lapse back to his old way. My needling eventually got to him and so he switched to saying "atomic". LOL.

    Yikes, your mom never changed your sheets?? Didn't you notice the subtle color change or a "not so fresh" smell in the sheets over time? :-O In the winter, I can get away with about 3 weeks, but in the summer, no more than 2 weeks.

    Probably a much more common mistakening is with song lyrics. You know, you hear a song that you like when you're a kid, then later on as an adult you're singing the lyrics with a friend who turns to you and says "what did you just say??"

    My niece said a line from the song "Magic" by the 70's group Pilot (of course, it's been redone a few times since them). I thought it went "Live and believe it's not so." But she was like "What? No, it's *NEVER* believe it's not so!". And so we went on-line to double-check... where I soon had egg on my face. :-D