Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I Hate the Commercial for Savages

I've seen the television commercials for the movie Savages about a thousand times in the past week.  I have no idea whether they are just constantly playing on every television channel, or only the ones I'm watching, but at any rate, a Savages commercial shows up nearly every commercial break -- or at least feels like it.

This is an Oliver Stone film.  When you see his name pop up on the screen in big, block red letters, you almost feel like the movie industry is saying to you, "Duh, dummy.  Look who'se back.  It's Oliver Stone.  Look how cool this commercial is.  Look how many famous actors and actresses are in this movie."  OLIVER STONE.  You know, the guy who many years ago made such awesome movies as Platoon and Wall Street.  He's kind of gone down hill, seems a little nutty, and some people might have thought he was dead, but he's back.  OLIVER STONE.  His new movie is Savages.  OLIVER STONE.  RED LETTERS.  BLOOD.  CRIME.

One of the commercials starts out like this:  Voice Over:  "Just because I'm telling you this story doesn't mean I'm alive at the end of it..."

Ooh....deep.

They show a girl, who for about a month I thought was Kate Hudson.  Turns out, it's Blake Lively.

A rap song plays.  Lots of quick cuts.  A glimpse of John Travolta, Salma Hayek, Benicio del Toro.  People screaming.  Explosions.  Guns.  Masks.  This is consistent throughout every commercial.  Then, there is some statement by Salma Hayek: 

"There's something wrong with you love story, baby," says Salma Hayek in one. 

"I wouldn't have a problem cutting both their throats," Salma Hayek says in another, as she calmly takes a bite of food.

Blech.  I'm so sick of seeing these commercials.  What's amazing, is that after viewing the commercials about a million times, I still have no idea what this movie is about.  It appears to have something to do with drugs.  You know, watching criminals do something criminal, so we can sit back and notice how cool they are, with the cool OLIVER STONE cinematography.  It's funny, because as I've gotten older, I realize more and more that I don't want to watch criminals rob people or kidnap them or kill them for entertainment purposes.  Why do people do that for entertainment?  Think about if that were to happen in real life.  Do we think people like that are totally awesome, man?  Of course not.  So why does the movie industry consistently make movies about criminals, glorifying them basically, and people go to see those movies?  I don't get it.

Needless to say, I won't be seeing this one in the theater.

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