Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So, This is What it Feels Like

So, I’m sitting here at work and I can’t concentrate on anything.

Well, anything except CTF. (That is what I will call him for blogging purposes.)

Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve felt like this about anyone? I feel like a crazy person.

People, I have work to do!!!

Anyway, here’s what happened. Last Thursday I went to a lawyerly type function, and then out for drinks with some coworkers. At the lawyerly type function, I got hit on and asked for my number. Then later on at the bar the same thing happened. At the time, I was kind of taken aback and not sure what I should do. While I didn’t really want to go out with anyone else, CTF and I hadn’t had “the talk.” So, with somewhat mixed feelings, I gave them both my number. Based on past experience, I tend to feel that until you have “the talk” you really can’t assume anything, and there is no reason to take yourself off the market. (However, I really didn’t want to go out with either one of them.)

CTF’s ears must’ve been burning because Friday night, he brought up exclusivity and…low and behold…looks like I have a boyfriend.


I am falling so hard, and I’m trying to pull the reins in on this thing, but it is getting increasingly difficult. I mean, what am I supposed to do with a guy who

…says exactly what I’m thinking in my head…(almost freakishly)

…is the best hugger ever…

…has a way of picking out the one appetizer on the menu that I was eyeing…

…regularly shows up with a bottle of wine…

…always seems thrilled to see me or talk to me on the phone…

…talks about the future, but not in a creepy way…

…carries my doggy bag…

…has started watching NFL football because I like it…

…and has given me zero stress about how he feels about me since we started dating?

Has it really only been five weeks since our first date?

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Is the Election Over Yet?

I realize I haven’t been posting much lately about the presidential campaign.

Rest assured, I have been watching the debates and following the news closely. At the end of the day, I’m tired of it all. I feel like this election season has been going on FOREVER. Have we really not elected someone yet? Does it even matter?

All of our taxes will be going up in 2013, not just the taxes of the evil rich.

All of our health insurance costs will go up.

We still don’t have a budget.

Congress does nothing.

Every day we hear about more taxpayer money being wasted in the form of government investments in companies like Solyndra and A123. The Chevy Volt is a bust.

Even thinking about the government waste exhausts me.

Anyway, I’m obviously not voting for Obama.

And here comes Gloria Allred, my favorite person. Today she is trying to unseal some deposition testimony given by Mitt Romney in his buddy’s divorce case in 1991. Twenty one years ago! (Seriously, if this is the best dirt they’ve got on Romney that’s saying something.) Why is it that whenever a Republican starts to gain some ground Gloria Allred trots out some poor, downtrodden woman with a bone to pick? Remember Sharon Bialek? I barely do either, but she is the one who got up and talked smack about Herman Cain. Whatever happened to her? I guess the case got dropped when Herman Cain dropped out of the presidential race. Or what about Nicky Diaz-Santillian, Meg Whitman’s illegal immigrant maid? Whatever happened to her? Who knows? After much ado about nothing, they fade into the woodwork the second Gloria Allred’s dirty work is done. Obviously we have the right of free speech in this country, but what she does seems almost immoral. It’s my dream to dig up some dirt about her and hold my own press conference.

I'll just leave you with this:

The Scary Time

I’m up to Date 9 with my new guy.  Things are going very well – as well as I could hope at this stage of the relationship.  The butterflies are INSANE.  He is doing everything right.  He plans awesome dates, pays for everything (unless I insist on paying, which by this point I have), comes and picks me up, bought me flowers, calls when he says he is going to call, and says all the right things.  We talk about everything and have so much in common.      

I’m absolutely terrified because now we are entering the time when we actually get to know each other.  The two, three, four month period of time is prime “drift away” time, if he decides something about me is a dealbreaker, or that maybe he doesn’t like me as much as he thought he did.  It’s an unstable time.  I don’t like unstable -- it makes me panic these days.    

(You should know that the last relationship I had lasted around six months, and the guy – who I shall call Asshole – disappeared.  He drifted.  He’s not dead – I checked.  He walked out of my house one day, and never called me again.  I had met his family.  He had told me he loved me.  And yet – he still vanished with no explanation.  He wouldn’t even respond to my calls.  As a result, I am jumpy about this kind of thing now.  I never had anything like that happen to me, and never realized someone would do that.)

I know I need to just relax and enjoy how things are now (because it is wonderful in a lot of ways), but it is so difficult.  I worry, worry, worry.  (But he doesn’t know this!  I’m cool as a cucumber and light and breezy about it all around him!)  I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve only known him a month, and we don’t have to talk constantly.  (It’s funny because we are both kind of unsure about the appropriate level of frequency of communication at this point.  He keeps telling me to text and call him more, but I don’t want to do that.  I am fearful of getting too attached until things are a little more stable, and I prefer to let him do the chasing in that regard.)  Yet, even going a day without talking to him feels like eons.  I find it so weird that a person I just met can create such an impact in my daily routine so quickly. 

Anyway, I will post more details about him in the future…hopefully.              

Other than that….work is the same.  Good, I guess.  I went to my 20 year high school reunion, which turned out to be loads of fun.  The short story is that most of the women looked great, and most of the men were fat and bald.  Ha! 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Maybe Dating Can Be Fun

I’ve dated a lot. Interspersed with that, I’ve had three longer term relationships (a 1 year, 2 ½ years, and 4 years). Over the past several years, though, I’ve mainly had a lot of first dates. Some people enjoy dating. I don’t. I prefer to hit the stage where things are more comfortable, where the Saturday date is expected, where you are starting to get to know the real person, and you don’t have to wonder whether you are ever going to hear from them again when they hang up the phone or walk out the door. It’s getting to that stage that is difficult for me. I’ve gone over in my mind whether or not I’ve been too picky over the years, or whether I expect too much, and I really don’t think either is the case. I’m willing to give most anyone a shot, provided they meet the basic requirements of having a decent job and being decent looking.

I go through stages with dating. I’ll get fired up and go on a lot of dates, and then (typically) lose interest in dating entirely for several months. It’s also hard for me to date because of work. I’m a typical workaholic, and have had to cancel more than one date over the years due to some work issue arising at the end of the day. Most men don’t like this, and for those early dates, you really have to keep the momentum going when things are looking promising. I fail at keeping momentum going, usually.

So, I date, although the older I get the more of a draw it is to sit on my couch in my fleece pajamas with a glass of wine and the DVR rather than try to make small talk with a stranger, who typically wants to start groping me within a half an hour of meeting. The fact is, my life as a single person is very good. I have no drama, great friends, great family, a nice place to live, and a good job. I don’t have anyone complaining about the number of purses in my closet. I guess I’ve just had a difficult time meeting the right person. I’ve met men that are “okay,” but “okay” just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I mean, why bother?

In other words, it’s been a very, very long time since I’ve met someone who I felt was hitting it on all cylinders. My “checklist” has changed over the years. When I was younger, I cared a lot more about looks than I do now. (Although I’m still shallow enough that I’m not going to date a dog.) Now what is really important to me is whether or not he is a good person. How does he feel about me? I hate game playing, and having to worry that if I send one too many texts the guy might think I want to get married tomorrow and have 10,000 babies with him.

I met a guy toward the end of August, but we weren’t able to have our first date until around a month later, because he and I were both out of town back to back. It’s kind of a miracle that we even ended up getting together. That really never happens for me. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve given my number to and then either never heard from again, or talked to a couple of times on the phone, and things just petered out without even getting to a first date.

And…well, here is the summary thus far.

Date 1 (two weeks ago): We met at a sports bar on Sunday afternoon with the intent of having a couple beers and watching the afternoon NFL games. Just casual, and if we hit it off, we’d see where things led for the remainder of the evening. (This is my ideal first date – relatively pressure free, I can have a drink to help me not be so nervous, and if we don’t hit it off, we can cut things off fairly quickly and easily. I’m actually not a fan of going to a nice restaurant or doing something more involved on the first date – just too much pressure.) We met at around 3 p.m. Watching the game led to dinner at a nearby restaurant, which led to me getting home at around 9 p.m. Time flew by.

Date 2 (the following Saturday; requested at the end of Sunday’s date): He came by to get me at 7 p.m., and brought a bottle of wine. We drank a glass, then went out to dinner. He actually had a plan for the evening and had made reservations. I’m telling you, most men do not go to this level of effort anymore. It was astounding. Good restaurant also. After dinner, we went to a German bar to have some Oktoberfest beer. The next thing I (we) knew it was 3 a.m. I couldn’t even believe how fast time flew by.

Date 3 (the following Tuesday): We met up for dinner after work, since I was going out of town the rest of the week, and already had plans with my friends on Friday and Saturday night. Again, he had a place in mind, came and picked me up, and out we went. Although I didn’t plan on being out so late on a school night, it was midnight before I knew it.

Date 4 (this past Sunday): We went to a bar where they were having Canadian Thanksgiving. (He is from Canada.) He came by my house at around 3 p.m., then we went to eat, then came back to my place and watched a little television. It was almost 11 p.m. when he left. Crazy.

Everything thus far has seemed effortless. I had forgotten what that feels like. I can’t even believe I’ve really only known him for two weeks. There are no uncomfortable silences, no awkwardness…it’s just “easy.” (That’s what he keeps saying, anyway, and I think he’s right.) I’d forgotten that it can actually be easy, and dating doesn’t have to be a miserable process. However, I worry much less these days about impressing the men I meet and stressing over it. I be myself, and they can take it or leave it. That also has made this much easier – also that we have a lot of things in common.

So….we shall see, but so far, so good. It’s kind of fun, too.  Date 5 is tomorrow and Date 6 is Saturday.  We are moving right along...