Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Scary Time

I’m up to Date 9 with my new guy.  Things are going very well – as well as I could hope at this stage of the relationship.  The butterflies are INSANE.  He is doing everything right.  He plans awesome dates, pays for everything (unless I insist on paying, which by this point I have), comes and picks me up, bought me flowers, calls when he says he is going to call, and says all the right things.  We talk about everything and have so much in common.      

I’m absolutely terrified because now we are entering the time when we actually get to know each other.  The two, three, four month period of time is prime “drift away” time, if he decides something about me is a dealbreaker, or that maybe he doesn’t like me as much as he thought he did.  It’s an unstable time.  I don’t like unstable -- it makes me panic these days.    

(You should know that the last relationship I had lasted around six months, and the guy – who I shall call Asshole – disappeared.  He drifted.  He’s not dead – I checked.  He walked out of my house one day, and never called me again.  I had met his family.  He had told me he loved me.  And yet – he still vanished with no explanation.  He wouldn’t even respond to my calls.  As a result, I am jumpy about this kind of thing now.  I never had anything like that happen to me, and never realized someone would do that.)

I know I need to just relax and enjoy how things are now (because it is wonderful in a lot of ways), but it is so difficult.  I worry, worry, worry.  (But he doesn’t know this!  I’m cool as a cucumber and light and breezy about it all around him!)  I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve only known him a month, and we don’t have to talk constantly.  (It’s funny because we are both kind of unsure about the appropriate level of frequency of communication at this point.  He keeps telling me to text and call him more, but I don’t want to do that.  I am fearful of getting too attached until things are a little more stable, and I prefer to let him do the chasing in that regard.)  Yet, even going a day without talking to him feels like eons.  I find it so weird that a person I just met can create such an impact in my daily routine so quickly. 

Anyway, I will post more details about him in the future…hopefully.              

Other than that….work is the same.  Good, I guess.  I went to my 20 year high school reunion, which turned out to be loads of fun.  The short story is that most of the women looked great, and most of the men were fat and bald.  Ha! 

1 comment:

  1. Oh this is so magical and you're handling it so well!
    He sounds amazing and you deserve this!