For the first time in my life, I am now living with a man. Only took 39 and a half years.
I never thought I would live with someone without getting married, but it make sense. We’re engaged and have a wedding date set for next year. It will make things easier for us. No more shuttling back and forth between places and having to pack a bag. (We only lived around 2 miles apart, so this wasn’t a huge hassle, but still.) Plus, we will save a lot of money now that we do not have to pay double rent and utilities. He moved in to my place over the weekend.
I’m only slightly terrified. This has a sense of permanence about it now, as I inventory our kitchen supplies to determine where we have duplicates. Some things will be given away; it makes no sense to keep two…unless we plan to split up again at some point. How odd, right, to think that way? Should I keep this in case we have to split everything up someday? No. I’m not going to think that way. For now, I’m going to assume that this is it. From now on, we are a unit, even though I’ve lined up his glasses on one side of the cupboard and mine on the other. It’s hard to let go of that “mine” mindset.
He’s being almost annoyingly wishy washy in some ways, asking me “Do we need this or that?” And I ask him…”Do you use it? Are you attached to it? Do you want to keep it?” He doesn’t seem very attached to anything. That is one thing I like about him, actually, but I wish he would put his foot down and tell me that he wants to use his alarm clock. I really don’t care whose alarm clock we use. I tell him to make himself at home and to feel free to put things wherever he wants since he lives here now, but he still feels the need to clear it with me. I had to tell him it was okay to put his own pillows on the bed, for example. It will take time for him to feel at home, I know. I’m no help because I have my place decorated just so, and it is hard for me to let go of that, even though I know I have to do it. He wants us to use his red entryway rug that matches nothing in my condo. He doesn’t understand colors and home décor. To him, since the rug is still in fine shape we might as well use it. I will likely cave on this issue, because who cares? He will smile when he sees it laid out when he gets home from work. It makes me happy when he’s happy, so I suppose I can live with a red rug.